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  • 職場(chǎng)指南:英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)歷中最不該出現(xiàn)的話

    時(shí)間:2024-09-22 00:11:54 簡(jiǎn)歷封面 我要投稿
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    職場(chǎng)指南:英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)歷中最不該出現(xiàn)的話

      致命的大錯(cuò)

    職場(chǎng)指南:英語(yǔ)簡(jiǎn)歷中最不該出現(xiàn)的話

      "Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

      "Qualifications: No education or experience."

      "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

      "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

      "Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."

      "Fired because I fought for lower pay."

      "Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6’5" .

      " "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

      "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

      "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word ’paranoia.’ I prefer to elaborate privately."

      打字錯(cuò)誤與語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤

      "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

      "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

      "I am a rabid typist."

      "Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

      "After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line&nb sp;of work."

      "Accounting cleric."

      "As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

      "Suspected to graduate early next year."

      "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

      "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

      "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

      "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

      "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

      不應(yīng)有的幽默

      "Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

      "Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

      "But wait...there’s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

      "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

      "My fortune cookie said, ’Your next interview will result in a job’-and I like your company in particular."

      "Title: Another resume from the ’Profiles in Excellence’ se ries."

      "Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."

      "Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."

      "Let’s meet so you can ’ooh’ and ’ahh’ over my experience."

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