情感日志：因?yàn)槲覀兌己ε鹿聠?/title> <meta name="keywords" content="情感日志：因?yàn)槲覀兌己ε鹿聠?> <meta name="description" content="離瀟，我來看你了。我叫莫然。今年二十歲，在所謂花一樣的年紀(jì)遇到了我在世上愛過的第二個(gè)人，第一個(gè)是我早逝的母親，其實(shí)我早已記不清她的模樣，只有在看著她的照片是才知這確是個(gè)美人兒，這是一張?jiān)缫逊狐S的老照片，淺淺的酒窩下有是張露出一角潔白的牙齒"> <link rel="stylesheet" href="http://freetobecreative.com/static/css/v2/article.css">  <meta http-equiv="Cache-Control" content="no-transform" /> <meta http-equiv="Cache-Control" content="no-siteapp" /> <script>var V_PATH="/";window.onerror=function(){ return true; };</script> </head> <body> <h1><a href="http://freetobecreative.com/">亚洲AV日韩AⅤ综合手机在线观看,激情婷婷久久综合色,欧美色五月婷婷久久,久久国产精品99久久人人澡</a></h1> <div style="position:fixed;left:-9000px;top:-9000px;"><xmp id="uk6uq"></xmp><abbr id="uk6uq"></abbr><pre id="uk6uq"><li id="uk6uq"><cite id="uk6uq"></cite></li></pre><fieldset id="uk6uq"><em id="uk6uq"><sup id="uk6uq"></sup></em></fieldset><fieldset id="uk6uq"><optgroup id="uk6uq"><button id="uk6uq"></button></optgroup></fieldset><strike 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id="nr0zpz6" class="main"> <div id="iht4efy" class="main-left"> <div id="iruw2ow" class="article"> <h1 class="title">情感日志：因?yàn)槲覀兌己ε鹿聠?/h1> <div id="wcfxok6" class="info"> <span id="qolek3a" class="time">時(shí)間：2022-12-06 04:33:38 </span> <span id="nmqsy0s" class="sm_after_time"></span> <span id="dgrc8hz" class="source"><a target="_blank" href="http://freetobecreative.com/riji/rizhi/" title="日志">日志</a></span> <span id="tixa3yj" class="source"><a target="_blank" href="http://freetobecreative.com/usr/login.html" title="我要投稿">我要投稿</a></span> </div> <div id="uloefo9" class="content"> <div id="ochllbn" class="excellent_articles_box"> <ul> <li id="9d4mhsn" class="excellent_articles_title">相關(guān)推薦</li> </ul> </div> <p>情感日志：因?yàn)槲覀兌己ε鹿聠?/p> <p> 　　離瀟，我來看你了。</p><p style="text-align: center;"><img loading="lazy" src="https://p.9136.com/00/l/c8d5d6be02_6136d9e20efa0.jpg" alt="情感日志：因?yàn)槲覀兌己ε鹿聠?/></p> <p> 　　我叫莫然。今年二十歲，在所謂花一樣的年紀(jì)遇到了我在世上愛過的第二個(gè)人，第一個(gè)是我早逝的母親，其實(shí)我早已記不清她的模樣，只有在看著她的照片是才知這確是個(gè)美人兒，這是一張?jiān)缫逊狐S的老照片，淺淺的酒窩下有是張露出一角潔白的牙齒，恍眼一看我覺著她應(yīng)是個(gè)幸福的女人，可我看到了他的眼睛，這是一雙對(duì)生活充滿怨恨和絕望得眼睛。</p> <p> 　　我一直不懂這樣一個(gè)女人怎會(huì)嫁給父親這樣無能而懦弱的男人呢?只是她走得太早，我無從得知。我不是在夸我的母親，連我的繼母也經(jīng)常都這樣夸我“你就長(zhǎng)了你母親那狐媚樣兒，什么瓜就帶什么種哩!”因?yàn)樗偸怯X著我和我那懦弱的父親有些什么，并且我的確是遺傳了母親那張會(huì)勾人的狐媚樣兒，不過長(zhǎng)得好也為我?guī)砹瞬簧俾闊�，比如說繼母心情不太美好時(shí)看到這么一張臉總也忍不住捏捏，摸摸，或許說用個(gè)更恰當(dāng)點(diǎn)的詞，比如說：掐掐。</p> <p> 　　而父親永遠(yuǎn)只會(huì)說，忍忍吧，她怎么說也是你半個(gè)媽。然后便是無盡的嘆息，我便是在小賤人的罵聲中和嘆息聲中度過了十幾個(gè)春秋的，我曾無數(shù)次想過去死，我像一個(gè)垃圾一樣被人遺棄，不是也應(yīng)該像垃圾一樣消失嗎?可在這生無可戀的世上我居然怕死，于是這堆怕死的垃圾就這么活下來了，我曾一度以為我還會(huì)這樣度過我的余生。</p> <p> 　　北京的冬天是異常難熬的，尤其是晚上。而我又異常的喜歡一個(gè)人在夜晚的冬天行走，其實(shí)我不想一個(gè)人的，可能怎樣呢?我至始至終都是一個(gè)人哩!還好有那一夜都不滅的霓虹燈陪我，慘黃的路燈把我的影子拉得老長(zhǎng)老長(zhǎng)，完全看不出它的主人是我。這城市好長(zhǎng)好長(zhǎng)，不管我怎么走都走不到盡頭。這城市應(yīng)有盡有，唯獨(dú)沒有盡頭。我想試試我還要走多久呢?</p> <p> 　　今天被繼母教育了一番，冬天傷口是最難愈合的，其實(shí)我可以免掉一頓打的，可我不知怎地居然在她罵我小賤人時(shí)回了她一句你才是賤人，你全家都是賤人。結(jié)果她就發(fā)了瘋的隨手拿了一件什么東西往我身上招呼，我感覺不到疼痛，只是意識(shí)恍惚睡了一覺，醒來時(shí)父親就在我身旁，眼睛有點(diǎn)紅，不過我寧愿相信他是喝酒喝紅了眼也不會(huì)相信他是為我哭過，見我醒來他問我疼嗎?疼就說出來，或者是哭出來，可是我真的不疼啊。他一直問這么嚴(yán)重怎么會(huì)不痛呢，你怎么不哭呢?你哭出來我會(huì)好受一點(diǎn)的。</p> <p> 　　可是我已經(jīng)好多年沒流過淚了，我也想嘗嘗眼淚的味道啊，可我已經(jīng)早已忘了怎么哭了。我真的不痛，所以我偷偷跑出去了，又開始在尋找著城市的盡頭，我便是在這路上遇上離瀟的。</p> <p> 　　北京的胡同是特別多的，晚上胡同邊上沒有路燈，一片黑暗，這是另一番景象，黑暗是個(gè)美好的世界，誰也看不見誰的表情，自己也就無需偽裝。我常常行走在胡同的邊緣，那讓我感到異常安全和滿足。今晚運(yùn)氣不太好，遇見幾個(gè)喝酒跑到里面吐的流氓，這片黑暗是屬于我的，我討厭他們那一身穢氣污染了那里的空氣，于是我叫他們滾出來，隨便把吐的給我吃掉，滾得遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)的，我已經(jīng)忘了會(huì)遇到臨近的危險(xiǎn)，我只知道我已經(jīng)一無所有了，一定要捍衛(wèi)我最后的領(lǐng)地。</p> <p> 　　我在黑暗中清楚得看到他們的眼神，我知道我長(zhǎng)得很漂亮，我想他們要是碰我一下我就和他們同歸于盡，我想我是太高估自己，因?yàn)槲疫€沒來得及自殺就被他們壓在地上了，我的衣服并不多，很快便感覺到兩條惡心而又丑陋的蛆蟲在我背上蠕動(dòng)，他的嘴就想吸血蟲在我的脖頸來回游走，惡心的酒氣讓我的胃瞬間翻騰，我想我終于可以像垃圾一樣消失了，我絕望的閉上眼，有種久違的東西流到我的嘴里，咸的，我才后知后覺的發(fā)現(xiàn)那是眼淚，我終于會(huì)流淚了，這該是一件高興的事吧。</p> <p> 　　我閉著眼，但卻閉不上我的耳朵，我聽到某種東西被撕裂的聲音，然后碎了一地，身上的每一寸肌膚，每一個(gè)細(xì)胞都清晰的感覺到冷空氣的刺入。就是在這個(gè)時(shí)候，我遇見除媽媽以外第一個(gè)愛的人，有的時(shí)候，生活中的事就和電影里的一樣狗血，是的，我就是在快被別人強(qiáng)奸時(shí)被他救下的。結(jié)局他并不是如電影里的一樣把他們打得落花流水，而是自己被打得爬不起來。不管怎樣，我這堆垃圾終究是被個(gè)善良的窮鬼撿了。他脫下唯一的寸衫給我披上，那一刻，我在流淚，他只道：“以后沒事別一個(gè)人出來晃悠，把鼻涕和眼淚擦擦”。其實(shí)他不知道，我的眼淚是為了他，因?yàn)�，我已�?jīng)，很多年沒有被人保護(hù)的感覺了。</p> <p> 　　他叫離瀟。</p> <p> 　　是在我二十年生命里第二個(gè)愛的人。在這之前，我從未想過我也可以有愛情，愛，并不是一件簡(jiǎn)單的事，更別說刻骨銘心了�？删褪菒哿�。沒有誰先愛上誰，也沒有誰對(duì)誰說愛，我們就是自然而然的走進(jìn)了彼此的生命。離瀟外表是個(gè)帥氣而陽光的小痞子，其實(shí)骨子里是一個(gè)極度悲觀而絕望的人，他的媽媽在他八歲時(shí)因?yàn)榘职值某鲕壎忌弦钟舭Y自殺，他就是在記恨和報(bào)復(fù)爸爸中成長(zhǎng)的，打架，吸毒，除了不找女人，該做的不該做的都做了，關(guān)于他為什么不找女人做愛呢?他說除了媽媽，天下的女人都很臟。當(dāng)然也除了后來的我。</p> <p> 　　我們后來發(fā)現(xiàn)，原來我們第一次被對(duì)方吸引的東西居然是一樣的眼睛。那時(shí)他認(rèn)為我的眼睛是世上最清澈而干凈的，而我是因?yàn)樵谒难劾锟吹阶约翰辉偈且欢洋a臟的垃圾。我們會(huì)經(jīng)常在寒冷的冬天走在城市的邊沿，安靜的看著路燈下的影子被拉得老長(zhǎng)老長(zhǎng)，偶爾也會(huì)在沒有星星的夜晚像兩個(gè)傻瓜一樣數(shù)天上的星星;夏天是他總騎著他的摩托車帶我飛馳在人煙稀少的地方，他說與風(fēng)一起奔跑是最快樂的時(shí)候，有一天死在這風(fēng)里也會(huì)是件快樂的事，我能感受到他所說的那種快樂。</p> <p> 　　追逐風(fēng)的行者，好像也不錯(cuò)。有時(shí)候會(huì)在晚上跑到某個(gè)隱秘的山洞睡覺，就這么抱著，安靜的等著洞外的天空一點(diǎn)一點(diǎn)發(fā)白。亦或是手牽著手背靠著背靜靜的在鐵路邊走，大多數(shù)時(shí)候我們都不說話，就這么默默的，安安靜靜的感受彼此的溫度那條鐵軌很長(zhǎng)很長(zhǎng)，好像沒有盡頭似的，我們一直也都堅(jiān)信，我們也會(huì)像這條路一樣，一直走下去�？墒菂s忘了，我們從來都不是被上帝眷顧的小孩。</p> <p> 　　那一天，天很晴，光很亮，風(fēng)，很大。我坐在鐵路旁等他，來回的火車過了一列又一列，他卻始終沒出現(xiàn)，我自己不知道怎么了，突然心就很痛很痛，那時(shí)怎樣一種感覺呢?就好像是有人拿著一把刀想要把你的心臟割下來，可是某個(gè)地方卻緊緊連著肉體，無論怎樣使勁都扯不斷，然后我的眼淚就掉下來了，怎么也止不住，無論我是抬頭望著天也好，躺著也罷，它就是不停，好像是一下子要把一生的眼淚流干似的，我不知道我什么時(shí)候睡著的，反正醒來是四周都是白色，白的床，白的天花板。手上打著吊針，爸爸說昨天找到我時(shí)我發(fā)燒昏迷不醒。</p> <p> 　　離瀟，對(duì)，我要去找離瀟。我不顧爸爸的阻擾跑到了離瀟的家門口。呵呵，我第一次看到那老男人哭呢，真丑，眼淚鼻涕一起流，其實(shí)仔細(xì)看他老爹也不年輕了，頭發(fā)都白了一半了，她們說離瀟因?yàn)橘€賽車出意外死了，哎，可憐啊，才二十幾歲的小伙子，這世界真吵，我還是換個(gè)地方睡吧!</p> <p> 　　我知道離瀟死了。不是不理我，也不是故意和我捉迷藏，他是死了。不過還好，他死也是和風(fēng)一起的，難怪那天風(fēng)那么大，原來是為他送行的，呵呵離瀟，你可真幸福，可你怎么一聲不吭就走了呢，害我等了你好久好久，久得我都睡著了。</p> <p> 　　這一年呢，我替你走過你你一直想去的大海，還有草原，只是沒有幫你養(yǎng)藏獒而已啦，你也知道，那家伙一生只忠于一個(gè)主人，我沒有一輩子來養(yǎng)它的，對(duì)不起啊，哎，我給你帶的貝殼你喜不喜歡了，據(jù)說把貝殼放在耳邊會(huì)聽到海浪的聲音哦，你聽到了嗎?離瀟，我想你了，你一個(gè)人一定很孤單吧!呵呵，我就知道，沒有我你怎么可能幸福呢?我也是呢，很孤單，很孤單。我們約定好的啊，要一起走向沒有盡頭的，因?yàn)槲覀兪侨绱说暮ε鹿聠�，我不�?huì)讓你一個(gè)人的。</p> <p> 　　我的死，與任何人無關(guān)。我終于可以作一個(gè)屬于我自己的選擇了，在這個(gè)世上，我像垃圾一樣活著，只有在他的世界，我才是我自己，我才會(huì)歡笑，流淚。他孤單了這么久，我不忍心再讓他一個(gè)人，而我，也害怕孤單。爸爸，我已經(jīng)不恨你了，也別因?yàn)槲业乃蓝y過，你要好好的!</p> <p>【情感日志：因?yàn)槲覀兌己ε鹿聠巍肯嚓P(guān)文章：</p><p><a target="_blank" href="http://freetobecreative.com/riji/rizhi/784784.html" title="90后的我們?cè)介L(zhǎng)大越孤單空間日志">90后的我們?cè)介L(zhǎng)大越孤單空間日志</a><span>07-09</span></p><p><a target="_blank" href="http://freetobecreative.com/riji/rizhi/1346883.html" title="經(jīng)典情感日志">經(jīng)典情感日志</a><span>08-27</span></p><p><a target="_blank" href="http://freetobecreative.com/riji/rizhi/256758.html" title="經(jīng)典情感日志賞析">經(jīng)典情感日志賞析</a><span>01-11</span></p><p><a target="_blank" 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