逗樂的英語笑話

　　1

　　I was on Southwest flight this morning and the cabin crew were able to turn the usual, boring safety instructions into something interesting:

　　論如何把無聊的安全演示變得有意思：

　　It will really boost our ego if you PRETEND to hear the safety instructions.

　　如果各位能假裝認(rèn)真聽我們的安全須知，我們的自尊心會得到極大滿足。

　　If you don’t like our flight, there are eight emergency exits. Feel free to walk out any time.

　　如果你不喜歡我們的航班，飛機上有八個緊急出口。慢走不送!

　　pretend [prɪˈtend] v. 假裝

　　ego [ˈi:gəʊ] n. 自我，自尊心

　　If there’s an emergency water landing, please put on the vest and paddle, paddle, paddle all the way until your reach the shore.

　　如果遇到水上迫降，請穿上救生衣，然后劃啊劃，劃啊劃，劃到外婆家……(好吧~其實是劃到岸邊…… )

　　emergency water landing我們更習(xí)慣叫ditching，這更通俗咯~

　　paddle [ˈpædl] v. 用槳劃船

　　In case the cabin pressure goes down, please put on your oxygen mask first and then assist your child. If you don’t want to assist the child, it’s OK – we will not judge you.

　　如果遇到釋壓，請自己先戴好氧氣面罩，然后再幫你的孩子戴。不過如果你不想幫那個熊孩砸戴也無所謂啦，我們不會說您什么的。

　　(這一段簡直是Ashley姐姐的最愛~!!!“不!不!經(jīng)理!我神馬都沒說!”)

　　cabin pressure [ˈpreʃə(r)] 客艙壓力

　　judge [dʒʌdʒ] v. 審判，評估;批評judge sb.是個很常用的短語喲~表示評判某人。

　　2

　　I was on a Southwest flight recently, which had been delayed by about an hour. One of the pilots came on as we were getting ready for takeoff, to apologize for the delay: “We are gonna fly this thing like we stole it!”

　　最近坐西南航空的航班延誤了快一個小時，正當(dāng)快要起飛的時候，一位飛行員為延誤而向乘客道歉，他說：“我們會把這玩意兒當(dāng)做是偷來的一樣玩命開的!”

　　recently [ˈri:sntli] adv. 最近，近來

　　3

　　Shortly after 9/11, when most airlines were really struggling:

　　9•11之后大多數(shù)航空公司的`效益都不大好——此為背景：

　　“As we taxi out, we’d like those on the right side of the aircraft to press their faces against the window… We’d like to remind those other airlines what a full plane looks like.”

　　“在我們推出滑行的時候，請坐在客艙右邊的乘客都把臉貼到窗戶上。我們想讓其他航空公司都感受下什么叫做滿員的航班……”

　　struggle [ˈstrʌgl ] vi. 奮斗(但經(jīng)常指 逆境中的)

　　4

　　On a flight from Orange County to Phoenix.

　　在一堂從橘子郡去鳳凰城的航班上：

　　You might experience a fast rush during takeoff and when descending. They charge for that in Disneyland. BUT! With us – it’s free! Sit back and enjoy the ride.

　　在起飛和降落時您可能會感受到過山車一樣的顛簸。這放在迪斯尼可是要收錢的。但是!在我們這里課時完全免費哦~現(xiàn)在請坐好，享受過山車之旅吧~

　　rush [rʌʃ] v.& n. 急速行進;沖

　　charge [tʃɑ:dʒ] v.& n. 充電;索(價)

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