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奇趣幽默英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話是以一個(gè)搞笑故事或一句話讓說(shuō)者或聽(tīng)者覺(jué)得好笑，讓你不自覺(jué)地快樂(lè)。今天我們就一起來(lái)看看奇趣幽默英語(yǔ)笑話吧!
A young girl was asked by her mother, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The girl replied, "I want to be an old maid."
Her mother was surprised to hear that, and said, "Oh,dear, why?" The girl said, "I don't think I would like to kiss a man so many times and to tell him he handsome every time. I will get bored. I like to go shopping, so I'd rather earn money to buy things for myself."
一個(gè)少女的母親問(wèn)她：“你長(zhǎng)大后想干什么呀?”少女說(shuō)：“我想做個(gè)老姑娘。”
她的母親聽(tīng)到這話感到非常驚訝。她說(shuō)：“啊，親愛(ài)的，這是為什么呀?”少女說(shuō)：“我覺(jué)得我不會(huì)老是要去親一個(gè)男人，而且每次還要說(shuō)他很帥。我會(huì)感到厭倦的。我喜歡逛商店，所以我寧愿去賺錢(qián)給自己買(mǎi)東西。”
奇趣幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(二)
他去吃早餐，他想要2片面包，服務(wù)員只拿了1片，他說(shuō)“I want two pieces ",服務(wù)員聽(tīng)成了“I want to piss”(我想拉屎)。他又說(shuō)“I want two pieces on my plate"，然后服務(wù)員就罵他“you're a son of bitch”(你這狗·娘·養(yǎng)的)。
他認(rèn)為服務(wù)員說(shuō)他是“son of a beach(海灘)”。然后他又去吃飯了，服務(wù)員只拿了勺子和刀，沒(méi)有叉子(fock)。他說(shuō)“I want a fock”，服務(wù)員聽(tīng)成了“I want to fuck”，服務(wù)員回他說(shuō)“everyone want to fu·ck",他又說(shuō)“I want a fock on the table",服務(wù)員聽(tīng)成了“I want to fu·ck on the table"。回到房間，床上沒(méi)有床單，他說(shuō)“I want a sheet",服務(wù)員聽(tīng)成了“I wanna shit(屎)”。
最后他來(lái)到前臺(tái)，工作人員向他說(shuō)了句客套話“peace on you”，他卻認(rèn)為在罵他“piss on you。”，罵了人家一句“son of bitch“"我要回意大利!”
奇趣幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(三)
Expiration Date
Before I could start my first job right out of college, I had to present evidence that I was a U.S. citizen, so I brought my birth certificate. The clerk picked up my birth certificate and gave it a good, long look. “Is something wrong?” I finally asked. “Yes,” she said. “I can’t find the expiration date.”
【中文譯文】
失效日期
我剛大學(xué)畢業(yè)找到第一份工作。在正式開(kāi)始工作以前，我必須提交我是美國(guó)公民的證明文件。于是我?guī)チ宋业某錾C明。那個(gè)職員拿起我的`出生證明仔仔細(xì)細(xì)地看。我問(wèn)：“有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”她說(shuō)：“是啊，我沒(méi)找到失效日期。”
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