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超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你（通用10篇）
笑話意思是引人發(fā)笑的話或事情。笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡(jiǎn)單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點(diǎn)。，歡迎欣賞超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你!
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 1
班花
班里公開選舉班花。小麗是個(gè)才女，但是相貌平平。她大膽地走上講臺(tái)，發(fā)表自己的競(jìng)選演說：“各位兄弟姐妹，雖然我長(zhǎng)相一般，但是我希望大家投我一票。幾年以后，在座的姐妹們結(jié)婚了，可以驕傲地對(duì)你們先生說‘我上大學(xué)的時(shí)候，比我們的.班花還漂亮�！�
There was an election contest for Class Beauty. Xiao Li was a talented girl, but quite plain-looking. She walked to the speakers platform with courage and delivered her election speech, "Dear classmates, although I am an ordinary-looking girl, I hope all of you can vote for me. After a few years, when girls in our class get married, you can speak to your husbands proudly, When I was in college, I am prettier than the Class Beauty."
結(jié)果小麗的演說打動(dòng)了所有人，她以全票當(dāng)選“班花”。
As a result, her speech won everyone over. She was elected as "Class Beauty" unanimously.
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 2
Is she big-boned?
她是不是很魁梧啊?
Big-bone看字面解釋就知道是指骨架很粗大。這對(duì)美國(guó)的女人 來說是見怪不怪的。在電影Something about Mary中就有這一句，Is she big-boned?
那嬌小的`女子怎么說? 嬌小就是petite。很多從亞洲來女生來美國(guó)都抱怨買不到合適的衣服，其實(shí)很多店都有一區(qū)petite。去那里找找， 保證你會(huì)有意想不到的收獲。若是真的找不到，就試試teenager那兒也有許多合適的衣服。
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 3
She is a big gossip
她是八卦夫人。
Gossip指的'就是八卦新聞， 但它也可以拿來形容一個(gè)人很八卦。所以She is a big gossip就是說她是個(gè)八卦夫人。或是你也可以說， She is gossipy。有另一種說法 She is an information bureau (她是情報(bào)局) 也蠻有趣的。
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 4
who want to go to heaven
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit , "Well, sir," he said, "I dont know what were voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋�(gè)人在他說教時(shí)打瞌睡。
一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來吧�！彼械娜硕颊玖似饋怼�(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來!”
打瞌睡的人被這突然的`喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人�！�
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 5
Walking up to a department stores fabric（織物，布） counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk（假笑，傻笑） . "Thats fine," said the girl. "Ill take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly（故意使人煩惱地） held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer（老家伙） standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
一個(gè)漂亮的女孩走到百貨公司的'布料柜臺(tái)，說：“我想要買這種料子來做一條新裙子，多少錢？”
“每碼只需要一個(gè)吻。”男售貨員說著，帶著奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩說，“我要十碼�！�
帶著期待的表情，售貨員很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一臉奸笑地送了過來。
女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑著指向了一個(gè)站在她身邊的老頭：“爺爺給我付賬�！�
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 6
A school report
學(xué)校成績(jī)單
The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(憤怒的) as he read,
父親在看他那滿懷希望的兒子帶回來的'學(xué)校成績(jī)單。他邊看邊露出憤怒的表情：
"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).
“英語(yǔ)，差;法語(yǔ)，差;數(shù)學(xué)，中�！彼麉拹旱仄沉嗽诎l(fā)抖的兒子一眼。
"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."
“爸爸，”兒子說，“可能成績(jī)不夠理想。但您看到那一項(xiàng)了嗎?”他指了指下一行：“健康狀況，優(yōu)�！�
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 7
Speeding 超速
Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Dont you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
因?yàn)槁眯型其N員為了謀生需要拜訪盡量多的客戶，所以超速飛車趕場(chǎng)對(duì)于他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。有一次我就因?yàn)槌俣刃旭偙灰粋�(gè)公路巡警攔了下來�！澳阌袥]有看過你的時(shí)速表？”那名警官責(zé)問。當(dāng)我的.回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已經(jīng)太晚了�！败囬_得越來越快”，我如實(shí)地說，“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面，沒敢看別的”。
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 8
we attended the wedding of an acquaintances son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.
我們參加了一個(gè)熟人的兒子的婚禮。由于我們都不認(rèn)識(shí)那個(gè)年輕人和他的'新娘，所以我們決定送給他們一個(gè)實(shí)用的全家禮----一個(gè)滅火器。很明顯，這對(duì)新人大批量制作了他們的感謝信，因?yàn)槲覀兪盏搅艘粡埧ㄆ�，上面寫著：“非常感謝您的漂亮的結(jié)婚禮物，我們期待著不久就用到它�！�
超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 9
Always Thirsty
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
總感到口渴
一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友說：“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù)，手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了�！�
“真是太糟糕了！”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎？”
“不疼，可是我總感到口渴�！�
作業(yè):
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.
Father: What"s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
超好笑的.英語(yǔ)笑話笑翻你 10
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
幽默故事翻譯：
軍營(yíng)里有二名士兵，一個(gè)叫喬治，一個(gè)叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”
比爾說：“有�！比缓蟀研偶埡托欧饨o了喬治。
喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢�！北葼栍职炎约旱�'筆給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完后把信放進(jìn)信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。
這時(shí)比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”
比爾說：“是的�！彪S即打開了門。
喬治說：“請(qǐng)幫我把這封信投進(jìn)辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。
“你還要什么?”比爾問。
喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
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