最新英語笑話幽默網(wǎng)文

　　Psychiatrist

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist.

　　"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.

　　Every time I get into bed,

　　I think there's somebody under it.

　　I'm going crazy!"

　　Just put yourself in my hands for one year,"

　　said the shrink.

　　"Come to me three times a week,

　　and I'll cure your fears.

　　" How much do you charge?"

　　A hundred dollars per visit.

　　" I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

　　Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.

　　"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?"

　　asked the psychiatrist.

　　For a hundred bucks a visit?

　　The bartender cured me for $10."

　　"Is that so!

　　How?

　　" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

　　Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”

　　“給我一年時間，”醫(yī)生說，“每周來三次，我會治好你。”

　　“費用是多少呢?”

　　“每次一百美元。”“我會認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。

　　六個月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒來呢?”醫(yī)生問。

　　“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”

　　“真的?他怎么做到的?”

　　An Entrance Examination

　　入學(xué)考試

　　In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music，the teacher asked one of the boys，"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”

　　在一次音樂學(xué)院的入學(xué)考試中，老師問一位應(yīng)試的小伙子:“音樂家最重要的生理素質(zhì)是什么?”

　　"To be deaf，”replied the boy.

　　“耳聾。”小伙子回答說。

　　"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily

　　“胡說!”老師憤怒地說。

　　"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

　　“怎么了，先生!您難道連鼎鼎大名的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子都不知道嗎?”小伙子輕蔑地反問道。

　　Visiting A Chicken Farm

　　參觀養(yǎng)雞場

　　One day，a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator，a chick just got out of it’s eggshell.

　　老師帶學(xué)生到養(yǎng)雞場參觀，當(dāng)他們走近孵化器時，剛好一只小雞破殼而出。

　　"It's wonderful to see a little thing come out from the eggshell，isn't it's it?”the teacher said.

　　“看見一個小生命從蛋殼里出來，很奇妙，是不是?”老師說。

　　"Yes，sir，"said one of the boys，“But it would be more wonderful if we knew that how a chick gets into its eggshell beforehand.”

　　“是的，老師，”一個男學(xué)生說，“可是，如果我們知道它是怎樣事先鉆進(jìn)蛋殼里的那就更奇妙了。”

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