初二英語(yǔ)笑話故事

　　笑話大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂(lè)性。其趣味有高下之分。小編你挑選了初二英語(yǔ)笑話故事，希望你會(huì)喜歡，一起來(lái)歡樂(lè)笑笑啊!

　　初二英語(yǔ)笑話故事一：

　　A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

　　一個(gè)生意人走進(jìn)一家酒館，在吧臺(tái)坐下，點(diǎn)了一杯加冰的雙料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)員把杯子滿上。喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)生幫他把杯子滿上。這時(shí)酒館的服務(wù)生說(shuō)話了，“呃，老兄，我整個(gè)晚上給你倒martini都沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，但你得告訴我，你為什么在點(diǎn)下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的.人開始變得好看起來(lái)，那就說(shuō)明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”

　　初二英語(yǔ)笑話故事二：

　　In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

　　在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學(xué)校老師，請(qǐng)求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過(guò)一絲狡黠，說(shuō)道：“你是學(xué)校的老師，對(duì)嗎?女士，我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。”

　　初二英語(yǔ)笑話故事三：

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對(duì)勁。每次睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，我都感覺(jué)有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“每周來(lái)三次，我會(huì)治好你。”“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒(méi)來(lái)呢?”醫(yī)生問(wèn)。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉�，F(xiàn)在那沒(méi)人了!”

　　初二英語(yǔ)笑話故事四：一個(gè)更好的郵遞員

　　I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble.

　　One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house. I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards me.It growled and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was!

　　我當(dāng)過(guò)很短時(shí)間的郵遞員。然而，我害怕狗，而且也有過(guò)不少麻煩。

　　有一天，我設(shè)法到一座大房子去遞送幾封信。我開始打開門，這時(shí)，突然一只很大的狗朝我跑來(lái)。它朝我嚎叫、咆哮著，因此我把信件扔在了柵欄上。那只狗拾起那些信件，把信件帶進(jìn)了大房子。比起我來(lái)講，那只狗是個(gè)更好的郵遞員。

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