英語(yǔ)幽默笑話精選
1、Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事?”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)。
“再見(jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎?”媽媽問(wèn)。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
2、Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.
But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”
愚蠢的問(wèn)題
丹在一個(gè)大城市的某個(gè)俱樂(lè)部當(dāng)守門(mén)人。每天都有數(shù)千人經(jīng)過(guò)他的門(mén)口，而且許多人都會(huì)停下來(lái)問(wèn)他:“請(qǐng)問(wèn)現(xiàn)在幾點(diǎn)?”
幾個(gè)月后，丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問(wèn)題了，我要去買(mǎi)一只大鐘，把它掛在這兒的墻上。”于是他買(mǎi)了一只鐘，把它掛在了墻上。
“現(xiàn)在人們總不會(huì)再停下來(lái)問(wèn)我時(shí)間了。”他高興地想。
可是打那以后，每天仍有許多人停下來(lái)，看看鐘，然后問(wèn)丹:“這鐘準(zhǔn)嗎?”
3、One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩從學(xué)校回到家里，對(duì)媽媽說(shuō)：媽媽?zhuān)裉煸趯W(xué)校里我因?yàn)橐患覜](méi)有做的事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動(dòng)地說(shuō)：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的`老師好好談一談，對(duì)了，你沒(méi)有做過(guò)的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答說(shuō)：我的家庭作業(yè)。
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