帶翻譯的英語(yǔ)逗樂(lè)笑話
You ShouldLearn to Be more polite
One day, Billand Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out twosteaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
一天，比爾和湯姆去餐館吃飯。當(dāng)服務(wù)員端上兩份牛排時(shí)，比爾迅速地為自己拿了比較大的那塊。
Tom wasn'thappy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
湯姆對(duì)此很不開(kāi)心：“你什么時(shí)候能學(xué)會(huì)禮貌?”
Bill:"If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
比爾說(shuō)：“如果讓你先拿，你會(huì)拿哪個(gè)?”
Tom:"The smaller piece, of course."
湯姆說(shuō)：“當(dāng)然是小的那個(gè)。”
Bill:"What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want,right?"
比爾：“那你還抱怨什么?小的那個(gè)不就是你想要的，不是嗎?”
Wedding Anniversary
A couple goesout to dinner to celebrate their 50 wedding anniversary.
一對(duì)夫婦出去吃飯慶祝他們的五十周年結(jié)婚紀(jì)念。
On the wayhome, she notices tears in his eyes and asks if he's getting sentimentalbecause they are celerating fifty wonderful years together.
在回家的路上，她注意到他的眼里含著淚水，于是問(wèn)他是否在感傷他們慶祝五十年在一起的美好時(shí)光。
He replies," No, I was thinking about the time before we got married.
他回答說(shuō)：“不，我在想我們結(jié)婚前的時(shí)光。
Your fatherthreatened me with a short gun and said he would have thrown me in jail forfifty years if I didn't marry you."
你的爸爸用槍威脅我，說(shuō)如果我不娶你，他會(huì)把我送進(jìn)監(jiān)獄蹲五十年。”
Big sale
It was theday of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the localpaper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store'sopening time, in front of the store.
降價(jià)大甩賣(mài)那天，商場(chǎng)通知的.8：30的開(kāi)業(yè)時(shí)間未到，門(mén)口就排滿了被打折的傳聞和當(dāng)?shù)貓?bào)紙的廣告吸引過(guò)來(lái)的長(zhǎng)龍。
A small manpushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud andcolorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw,and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again.
一個(gè)小個(gè)子男人推擠著想到隊(duì)伍的前面，但被推了回來(lái)，期間充斥著各式各樣的嘈雜的咒罵。這個(gè)人又一次努力往前擠，下巴被重重地碰了幾下，并被推來(lái)推去，又被擠到了最后面。
As he got up,he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me onemore time, I won't open the store!"
他第二次起來(lái)時(shí)，他對(duì)隊(duì)伍最后一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“得了，如果他們?cè)龠@樣對(duì)我，我就不去開(kāi)商店門(mén)了!”
Your Horse Called
A guy isreading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the backof the head with a frying pan.
一個(gè)家伙正在看報(bào)紙，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。
He asks,"What was that for?"
他問(wèn)道：“這是為什么?”
She says,"I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written onit."
她說(shuō)：“我在你口袋里發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張寫(xiě)有‘Betty Sue’的紙條。”
He says,"Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on." Sheshrugs and walks away.
他說(shuō)：“哎呀，親愛(ài)的，‘Betty Sue’是我賭的那匹馬的名字。”
Three dayslater he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on theback of the head again with the frying pan.
她聳了聳肩，走了。三天后他正在看報(bào)紙，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎鍋敲他的后腦勺。
He asks,"What was that for?"
他問(wèn)：“這又是為什么?”
She answers,"Your horse called."
她答道：“你的馬打電話來(lái)了。”
Bad News and Good News
An artistasked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintingscurrently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the ownerreplied.
一名藝術(shù)家問(wèn)畫(huà)廊老板，最近有沒(méi)有人對(duì)他展出的畫(huà)感興趣。“這有好消息和壞消息，”老板回答。
"Thegood news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it wouldappreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought allfifteen of your paintings."
“好消息是有一位先生咨詢你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的畫(huà)會(huì)不會(huì)升值。我告訴他你的畫(huà)會(huì)升值，他就把你的15幅畫(huà)全都買(mǎi)走了。”
"That'swonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". Withconcern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor."
“真是太好了”，藝術(shù)家是喜形于色，“那壞消息是什么?”帶著關(guān)心的口吻，畫(huà)廊老板回答，“買(mǎi)畫(huà)的人是你的醫(yī)生”。
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