幽默英語(yǔ)笑話精選集
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1.我不想走路回家
Tom is a very old man. After dinner, he likes walking in the street. And he goes to bed at seven o’clock.
湯姆是一位老人，他喜歡在晚飯后到大街上散步，在7點(diǎn)回來(lái)睡覺(jué)。
But tonight, a car stopped at his house. A policeman helps him get out. He tells Tom’s wife, “The old man couldn’t find his way in the street. He asked me to take him in the car.”
但是，今天晚上一輛小汽車(chē)停在他家門(mén)前，湯姆在一位警察的幫助下走下汽車(chē)。警察告訴湯姆的妻子：“這位老人在街上迷路了，他讓我用汽車(chē)送他回來(lái)。”
After the policeman leaves there, his wife asks, “Tom, you go to the street every night. But tonight you can’t find the way, what’s the matter?”
警察走后：“湯姆，你每天都到那條街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了?”
The old man smiles like a child and says, “I couldn’t find my way? I didn’t want to walk home.”
這位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了?我是不想走路回家。”
2.Pain Everywhere哪里都痛
A man went to the doctor and explained, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
一個(gè)人跑到醫(yī)生那里，說(shuō)：“醫(yī)生，我碰哪兒，哪兒疼。”
The doctor asked, "What do you mean?"
醫(yī)生問(wèn)，“什么意思?”
The man said, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, the pain is excruciating."
那個(gè)人說(shuō)：“我摸我的肩膀的時(shí)候，真的很疼。摸膝蓋的時(shí)候——哎呀!摸我的前額，真的'是鉆心的疼。”
The doctor said, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“我知道是什么問(wèn)題了——你的手指受傷了。”
3.英語(yǔ)笑話
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said. 在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽?zhuān)易蛱焱砩献隽艘粋�(gè)夢(mèng)，夢(mèng)見(jiàn)我通過(guò)了今天的考試。”“不要相信夢(mèng)，親愛(ài)的。據(jù)說(shuō)夢(mèng)中的經(jīng)歷通常與現(xiàn)實(shí)相反。”媽媽答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的夢(mèng)中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說(shuō)。
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