關(guān)于英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法的笑話
笑話指引人發(fā)笑的話題。小編整理的關(guān)于英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法的笑話，喜歡的趕緊來(lái)看下吧!
律師、寶馬和胳膊
一個(gè)律師打開(kāi)他的寶馬車門(mén)，突然一輛汽車駛過(guò)來(lái)把門(mén)撞飛了，警察趕到現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛(ài)的寶馬。
“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說(shuō)。
“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說(shuō)，“你這么關(guān)心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒(méi)有注意到你的左胳膊也沒(méi)了�！�
律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒?”
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
狗住旅店
一個(gè)人給一家他計(jì)劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫(xiě)了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”
旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經(jīng)營(yíng)旅館很多年了，狗從沒(méi)偷過(guò)毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者墻上的畫(huà)。我也從沒(méi)有在半夜因?yàn)楣泛茸砗[而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實(shí)際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來(lái)我們旅館，如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來(lái)。
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
顧客和服務(wù)員之間的對(duì)話
顧客：小心，你的大拇指在我湯里了!
服務(wù)員：別擔(dān)心，先生，不是很燙!
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
一個(gè)服務(wù)員給顧客拿來(lái)了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。
“你瘋了嗎?”顧客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上!”
“什么?”服務(wù)員說(shuō)，“你想讓它再掉地上?”
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
服務(wù)員：茶或咖啡?先生。
第一個(gè)顧客：我要茶
第二個(gè)顧客：我也是茶——杯子要干凈的!
服務(wù)員：兩杯茶，哪個(gè)要干凈的杯子?
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"
創(chuàng)新句子：我堅(jiān)持用干凈杯子喝茶。
服務(wù)員，這只蒼蠅在我湯里干什么?
看起來(lái)象是在仰泳，先生……
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...
服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅!
別擔(dān)心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛會(huì)干掉它。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
服務(wù)員，我湯里有只蒼蠅!
不是，先生，那是蟑螂，蒼蠅在你牛排里。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅!
別讓別人看見(jiàn)，先生，要不別人都要。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.
服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅!
我知道，先生，我們沒(méi)有另收錢(qián)。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅!
對(duì)不起，先生，我弄走那三個(gè)時(shí)忘了這個(gè)。
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.
服務(wù)員，湯里有只死蒼蠅!
是的，先生，是開(kāi)水殺死了它們。
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.
服務(wù)員，湯里有只死蒼蠅!
1美元你想要什么——活的?
aiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
What do you expect for $1 - a live one?
服務(wù)員，湯里有只蜜蜂!
是的，先生，今天蒼蠅放假。
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.
服務(wù)員，來(lái)杯咖啡，不加奶油。
對(duì)不起，先生，奶油沒(méi)了，不加奶怎么樣?
Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.
I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?
Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt!
Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.
Ground:研磨;地面
服務(wù)員，你的領(lǐng)帶在我的湯里了。
沒(méi)關(guān)系，先生，它不縮水。
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!
That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰(shuí)能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn)，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I‘d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事？”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)。
“再見(jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎？”媽媽問(wèn)。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)�！八�.耳朵還在我衣兜里呢�！�
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢(qián)。
“昨天給你的錢(qián)干什么了？”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說(shuō)。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)�！霸俳o你兩分錢(qián)�？赡銥槭裁磳�(duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問(wèn)題。他向父親發(fā)問(wèn)道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說(shuō)，“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察。如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了�！� “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說(shuō)，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃蘋(píng)果餡餅時(shí)，家里沒(méi)有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開(kāi)了屋子。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤(pán)子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說(shuō)：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生�！蹦切∧泻⒄f(shuō)。
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