簡(jiǎn)單易讀的英語(yǔ)笑話

時(shí)間：2020-10-01 15:46:28 英語(yǔ)笑話我要投稿

簡(jiǎn)單易讀的英語(yǔ)笑話

　　引導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：民間笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛(ài)的民間敘事類型,材料豐富,有廣泛的現(xiàn)實(shí)基礎(chǔ)。小編精心收集了爆笑簡(jiǎn)短的英文笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!

簡(jiǎn)單易讀的英語(yǔ)笑話

　　1.簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英文笑話：My Husband Will Be Home Soon

　　A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.

　　James replied, My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!

　　Oh please, the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　Oh really, I can't, he replies...My wife loves this beard!

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!

　　一個(gè)已婚男人去拜訪他的女朋友時(shí)，女朋友要求他剃去胡須。

　　噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的胡子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。

　　詹姆斯回答說(shuō)，我的妻子喜歡我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會(huì)殺了我的。

　　噢，我求你了，女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說(shuō)道

　　。

　　可是，我不能，他回答道，我的妻子喜歡這胡子。

　　在女朋友再三請(qǐng)求下，他終于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡時(shí)，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說(shuō)道，噢，邁克爾，你不應(yīng)該在這里，我的丈夫很快就要回來(lái)了。

　　2.簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英文笑話：Twenty-one Forever “妙”齡證人

　　In court a judge asked the witness, "How old are you? I mean, really, how old are you? And remember, you're under oath(宣誓) so tell the truth."

　　The woman replied, "I'm twenty one and some months."

　　The judge said, "Be specific: how many months?"

　　So she said, "One hundred and eighteen months."

　　庭上的法官問(wèn)證人：“多大了?我的意思是，真實(shí)年齡是多少?別忘了剛才已經(jīng)宣誓過(guò)，所以請(qǐng)誠(chéng)實(shí)作答”

　　這位女士回答：“我是二十一歲又幾個(gè)月�！�

　　法官說(shuō)：“要講精確，到底是多少個(gè)月?”

　　她回答：“一百一十八個(gè)月!”

　　簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英文笑話：No Pen But A Pistol

　　A lady and her son whom was about 10 years old came to buy pond fish from me one day. After I packed her favourite fish, I needed to write down the price label then stuck it on the fish bag, but I couldn’t find a pen at that moment.

　　"Did you have a pen?" I asked the lady.

　　"I am afraid not." She opened her hand bag and put her right hand inside to try and find one.

　　I waited and looked at her, her son did the same as me.

　　In a minute, she suddenly and a little loudly said:

　　"I have no pen but I have a pistol." she liked an actress took a pistol out and pointedit at me, I hadn’t reacted yet.

　　"It’s my toy pistol!" Her son loudly shouted to her.

　　3簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英文笑話：Modern lief 現(xiàn)代生活

　　Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.

　　We've been married fifteen years, one woman said, and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food.

　　How terrible! exclaimed the other. Does it bother you?

　　Why should it bother me? her friend replied. if he can't only stand his own cooking?

　　兩個(gè)老朋友分別多年之后又見(jiàn)面了，很快就開(kāi)始談起各自丈夫的'缺點(diǎn)。

　　我們結(jié)婚十五年了，一個(gè)婦女說(shuō)道，每天晚飯后，我丈夫總要抱怨飯菜。

　　真可惡!另一個(gè)驚呼道。難道你不煩嗎?

　　我煩什么?她的朋友答道。他不過(guò)是忍受不了自己的烹調(diào)技術(shù)。

　　4 簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：He Won 他贏了

　　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

　　Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

　　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

　　湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎?

　　約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。

　　湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒?

　　約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰(shuí)能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn)，他贏了。

　　5簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Three pastors 三個(gè)牧師

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(閣樓) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(鐘樓) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.

　　The third said, I baptized(洗禮) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

　　三個(gè)南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個(gè)說(shuō)道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來(lái)臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走�！�

　　另外一位說(shuō)：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經(jīng)請(qǐng)人把整個(gè)地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”

　　第三個(gè)牧師說(shuō)：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會(huì)的一員......從此一只也沒(méi)有再回來(lái)過(guò)。”

　　6簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Excited Remarks 激動(dòng)的話

　　Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(長(zhǎng)聲尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.

　　One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.

　　我五歲的兒子對(duì)摩托車有強(qiáng)烈的愛(ài)好。只要看見(jiàn)一輛摩托車，他就會(huì)高興得哇哇直叫，并激動(dòng)地說(shuō)：瞧這輛!瞧這輛，我總有一天也要有一輛。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活著，你就別想有這玩藝兒。

　　一天我們的兒子跟他的小朋友在說(shuō)話，有一輛摩托車開(kāi)了過(guò)去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道瞧這輛!瞧這輛!等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。

　　7簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Logic Reasoning 邏輯推理

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

　　His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

　　小學(xué)四年級(jí)的教師正在給學(xué)生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個(gè)例子：有這樣一種情況，一個(gè)男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進(jìn)了水里。于是他開(kāi)始掙扎并喊救命。

　　他的妻子聽(tīng)到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會(huì)游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰(shuí)能告訴我這是為什么? 一個(gè)女生舉手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

　　8 簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Whose father was the stronger

　　Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.

　　Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."

　　Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"

　　維爾和比爾在爭(zhēng)吵，誰(shuí)的爸爸是更強(qiáng)壯的一個(gè)。維爾說(shuō)：“你知道太平洋嗎?那個(gè)坑是我爸爸挖的。”

　　比爾不屑地說(shuō)：“那沒(méi)什么。你知道死海嗎? 那是我爸爸打死的。”

　　9簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話：Persistance 纏住不放

　　Returning from a golf outing(遠(yuǎn)足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?

　　Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答復(fù)) . We just play to have fun.

　　Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?

　　丈夫打完高爾夫球回來(lái)，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。爸爸，誰(shuí)贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔?

　　我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，丈夫推諉說(shuō)。我們打球只是為了好玩而已。

　　莎拉毫不氣餒，又問(wèn)：那么，爸爸，誰(shuí)覺(jué)得更好玩呢?