5分鐘英文幽默笑話

　　笑話的界定因人而異，有的人認(rèn)為是笑話的東西，有的'人不認(rèn)為是笑話。以下是5分鐘英文幽默笑話歡迎閱覽!

　　真正的男人

　　The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely.

　　Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

　　“It's good to see，”said the king，“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.”

　　“Your Majesty，”came the reply in a squealing voice，“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”

　　一位古王國(guó)的統(tǒng)治者，想要證明在他領(lǐng)地中的男人們都是被他們老婆所統(tǒng)治這一說法是錯(cuò)誤的，他就把王國(guó)中的所有男人都招到面前，并警告說，誰(shuí)要不說實(shí)話就會(huì)被嚴(yán)懲。

　　然后，他叫那些聽老婆指揮聽老婆勸的男人全都邁向大堂左邊。所有男人都這么做了，只有一個(gè)小個(gè)兒男人挪到了右邊。

　　“看來還不錯(cuò)嘛，”國(guó)王說，“咱們王國(guó)還有一個(gè)真正的男人。告訴這幫膽小的蠢材，在這些人當(dāng)中，為什么只有你一人站在大堂右邊。”

　　“陛下，”一個(gè)尖嗓子的回答聲傳過來，“那是因?yàn)槲页鲩T之前，老婆交代我別往人堆里扎。”

　　父親在哪兒?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄�！�

　　現(xiàn)在怎么辦?

　　A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator:

　　"My friend is dead! What can I do?"

　　The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

　　There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

　　兩個(gè)新澤西獵人在林子里，有一個(gè)突然摔倒在地，看起來沒了呼吸，翻白眼了。另一個(gè)掏出手機(jī)呼叫急救中心。他上氣不接下氣地對(duì)接線員說：

　　“我朋友死了!我該怎么辦?”

　　接線員用鎮(zhèn)定安慰的語(yǔ)氣說：“別慌，我有辦法。首先，咱確定一下他真死了。”

　　安靜了片刻，接著聽見一聲槍響。電話里又傳來那男人的聲音，他說：“確定了，現(xiàn)在怎么辦?”

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