有關(guān)醫(yī)生幽默笑話中英文翻譯

　　The doctor lives downstairs

　　醫(yī)生住在樓下

　　"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly whats wrong with me.”

　　”醫(yī)生“她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說道。"我想讓你坦率地告訴我，我到底得了什么病。"

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l(fā)ve just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, lm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."

　　他從頭到腳打量了她，然后大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對(duì)你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅；第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的相貌將會(huì)變美。第三，我是一位畫家——醫(yī)生住在樓下�！�

　　英語幽默笑話：死于肝癌

　　那些妙趣橫生的英語幽默故事

　　Wife:you see. According to the statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

　　妻子：你看這張報(bào)紙，據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì)，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

　　Husband: lts okay. To my investigation,all these people eat meals.

　　丈夫：那有什么？據(jù)我調(diào)查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃飯的。

　　英語幽默笑話：你精神正常嗎？

　　那些妙趣橫生的英語幽默故事

　　Are you a normal person?

　　你精神正常嗎？

　　During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..."said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

　　一個(gè)參觀者在參觀一所精神病院的時(shí)候問院長(zhǎng)，”你們是用什么標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來決定一個(gè)人是否應(yīng)該進(jìn)精神病院呢？””哦……¨院長(zhǎng)說，“是這樣，我們先給一個(gè)浴缸放滿水，然后我們給病人一個(gè)茶匙，一個(gè)茶杯和一個(gè)水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清�！芭�，我明白了¨，參觀者說，”正常人會(huì)選擇水桶，因?yàn)樗�桶比茶匙和茶杯的容積大�！薄卞e(cuò)了”，院長(zhǎng)回答道，正常人會(huì)把浴缸塞子拔掉。

　　北京會(huì)是下一個(gè)霧都嗎？Will Beijing Be the Next Foggy City?

　　On December, 1952, London was surrounded by the poisonous foggy for at least 4 days. Due to the poisonous air, the hospitals in London were crowed with patients, more than 4000 people died because of the foggy. In the next two month, 8000 people passed away. London, who used to proud of her fast growing economic, at this moment, she had to swallow the heavy price. After this incident, London had made up her mind that she must get rid of the poisonous foggy, and brought the city back to life again. After twenty years of hard working, London had made a balance between economic and environment. The win-win outcome had inspired the whole world.

　　1952年12月，倫敦被毒霧籠罩了至少4天。因?yàn)槎眷F，倫敦的醫(yī)院擠滿了病人，超過4000人死亡。在隨后的兩個(gè)月，又有8000人去世。倫敦，這個(gè)曾經(jīng)以快速增長(zhǎng)的經(jīng)濟(jì)而驕傲的城市，在這一刻，付出了沉重的代價(jià)。這次事故后，倫敦狠下心要擺脫掉“霧都”的帽子，讓城市重獲新生。在通過20年的不懈努力之后，倫敦在經(jīng)濟(jì)發(fā)展和環(huán)境治理中找到了平衡。這個(gè)雙贏的結(jié)果對(duì)世界有很大的啟發(fā)。

　　Beijing, the second biggest city in China, has faced the same situation, the foggy. Getting into winter, the air in Beijing was extremely bad;?the foggy is surrounding the city for days. Thanks to today’s advanced health service;?people can use various ways to protect themselves from the poisonous foggy. However, this isn’t the right way to fix the problems. The children dare not play outside;?the traffic light cannot be seen because of the thick foggy, this will increase the possibility of traffic accidents;?people have to wear breathing mask if they need to go outside. The clean air cannot make people to live forever, but at least it can make sure people are not suffering from coughing. However, we’re just too blind to see. If everybody plants a tree, the air will be clean someday. But the ironic part is the governments still chase the rapid growth of GDP, and play deaf and dumb to the environment. Do we really have to walk the same path just like old London?

　　北京，這個(gè)中國第二大的城市，現(xiàn)如今面臨著同樣的問題：毒霧。進(jìn)入冬季以來，北京的空氣變得特別的差。迷霧籠罩城市，遲遲不肯散去。感謝如今先進(jìn)的醫(yī)療服務(wù)，人們可以用多種方法來抵制毒霧。但這也是治標(biāo)不治本。小孩子不能外出游玩，交通燈看不見，增大了車禍的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)；如果一定要出門，那就得帶口罩。干凈的空氣不能使人長(zhǎng)生不老，但是至少讓人們遠(yuǎn)離咳嗽之苦。然而，我們卻視而不見。如果每個(gè)人種一棵樹，空氣就會(huì)變干凈一些。但諷刺的是政府部門卻在一味的追求GDP的增長(zhǎng)，對(duì)環(huán)境問題裝聾作啞。難道我們真的要走上舊時(shí)倫敦的老路么？

　　I don’t want Beijing or any other cities in China to be the next foggy city. This is so scary. I hope we can return to our offspring a clean sky and fresh air.

　　我不希望北京或者是中國的任何一個(gè)城市變成下一個(gè)“霧都”。這太可怕了。我希望我們能還給我們的子孫后代一個(gè)干凈的藍(lán)天和新鮮的空氣。

　　編輯 angel

　　英語笑話 誰是傻子

　　那些妙趣橫生的英語幽默故事

　　Who is nuts ?

　　誰是傻子？

　　In a hospital for mentally disturbed people, when the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling from the ceiling. Being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death. The nurse said;"Doctor, every day this patient thinks that he is a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!"The doctor said;“No,you have to pull him down at once;otherwise, hell die if he falls down."

　　一家精神病院里，醫(yī)生走進(jìn)一個(gè)病人的房間，發(fā)現(xiàn)病人正吊在天花板上晃來晃去。醫(yī)生嚇壞了，擔(dān)心病人摔下來一命嗚呼，趕緊叫護(hù)士把病人拉下來。護(hù)士說：¨醫(yī)生，這個(gè)病人每天都認(rèn)為自己是一盞燈，所以常常把自己吊在天花板上�！搬t(yī)生說：¨不行，你 還是得馬上把他拉下來，免得他摔死。

　　After a pause,the nurse answered: "But the light will go out after I pull him down!"

　　護(hù)士停頓了一下，說：¨可是，如果我把他拉下來，燈不就熄了嗎？

　　英語笑話：三只猩猩

　　那些妙趣橫生的英語幽默故事

　　Three gorillas fell out of a tree one by one.

　　有三只猩猩一個(gè)接一個(gè)地從樹上掉下來。

　　the first one was sick,the Second was being a copycat and the third gave in to peer pressure.

　　第一只生病了，第二只盲目模仿，第三只屈服于同僚壓力

　　【擴(kuò)展】

　　In the supermarket

　　在超市里

　　The man approached a very beautiful woman in a supermatrket and asked, "You know, lve lost my wife hare in the supermarket.Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?¨

　　在一個(gè)超市里，一個(gè)男子走向一位非常漂亮的小姐，對(duì)她說：”我和我的妻子走散了，你能和我聊一會(huì)兒?jiǎn)幔俊?/p>

　　"Why ?¨she asks．

　　“為什么呢？”這個(gè)小姐問。

　　"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman.my wife appears out of nowhare."

　　“因?yàn)槊慨?dāng)我與漂亮小姐聊天時(shí)，我的妻子就會(huì)不知從什么地方出來。

　　英語幽默笑話：誰要聾了？

　　那些妙趣橫生的英語幽默故事

　　Whos going deaf ?

　　誰要聾了？

　　A man tells a doctor, ”I think my wifes going deaf. What can I do ? "

　　丈夫告訴醫(yī)生："我想我的妻子快要聾了，我可以做些什么呢？"

　　The doctor says, "VVell, trY to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question-If she doesnt answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is."The man goes home, sees his wife and says, "Hi honey, whats for dinner ? "He doesnt hear an answer, so he moves closer. "Honey, whats for dinner ? "He repeats this severaltimes, until hes standing right next to her. Finally,she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we-re having Pot Roast!"

　　醫(yī)生告訴他："嗯，先嘗試測(cè)測(cè)她的聽力吧。站在離她有一段距離的地方，問一個(gè)問題，如果她沒有回答，走近一點(diǎn)再問一遍.一直重復(fù)直到她回答為止。這樣我們就可以知道情況有多糟了�！罢煞蚧氐郊�，看見妻子便問：¨親愛的，晚餐吃什么？¨他沒有聽到回答，于是走近一點(diǎn)再問：¨親愛的，晚餐吃什么呢？這樣重復(fù)了好幾次，直到他就站在妻子旁邊了。

　　終于，她回答了：¨這是第十次了，我說我們吃燉肉．

　　單詞＆詞組

　　frankly 坦白地，真誠地

　　lipstick 口紅，唇膏

　　asylum 庇護(hù)，救濟(jì)院，精神病院

　　criterion （評(píng)判的）標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，尺度

　　plug 堵，塞，插上，插栓

　　deaf 聾的

　　知道不知道

　　曬曬和nut有關(guān)的詞匯和口語里常用到的句子吧：

　　nut堅(jiān)果，瘋子，頭，螺母

　　walnut 核桃

　　peanut 花生

　　chestnut 板栗

　　cashew 腰果

　　almond 杏仁

　　pistachio 開心果

　　hazelnut 榛子

　　nutcracker 胡桃夾子

　　a hard nut to crack 難以對(duì)付的人或者事

　　be nuts about 對(duì)……瘋狂著迷

　　it costs peanuts． 很便宜。

　　錢包里的有趣事--雙語幽默笑話

　　A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... Thats funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

　　一個(gè)女人丟了手提包，有一個(gè)誠實(shí)的小孩撿到后交還給了她。她看了看錢包，說：“嗯，這么有趣，我丟的時(shí)候里面是一張20美元，現(xiàn)在成了20張一美元�！�

　　The boy quickly replied, "Thats right, lady. The last time I found a ladys purse, she didnt have any change for a reward."

　　“沒錯(cuò)，夫人�！毙∧泻⒘⒖袒卮鸬溃�“上次我撿到錢包時(shí)，那位夫人沒有零錢獎(jiǎng)賞給我�！�

　　保全大局舍手表--雙語幽默笑話

　　Policeman: Why didnt you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

　　警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？

　　Man: If I had opened my mouth, theyd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

　　男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

　　身體里流淌著巴尼亞的血液--雙語幽默笑話

　　A rich Sardarji needed blood for his heart surgery. He got it from a poor short Bania. Sardarji gave him 5 million dollars.

　　富有的薩達(dá)爾需要血液來完成他的心臟手術(shù)，他從貧窮的巴尼亞那里得到了血液。薩達(dá)爾給了他5000000美元作為報(bào)酬。

　　Once again the Sardar needed blood for surgery. Bania was more than happy to donated blood again. This time, Sardar just gave him a Chocolate. Bania asked the reason.

　　當(dāng)薩達(dá)爾再次需要手術(shù)的時(shí)候，巴尼亞更是愿意捐獻(xiàn)血液。這個(gè)時(shí)候，薩達(dá)只是給了他一個(gè)巧克力。巴尼亞問原因。

　　Sardar: Now I also have Bania blood in my body.

　　薩達(dá)爾：我身體現(xiàn)在也有巴尼亞的血液了。

　　幽默笑話：A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that weve been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

　　婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一個(gè)特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結(jié)婚35周年紀(jì)念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識(shí)到我們?cè)谶@兩個(gè)相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎？”

　　他放下報(bào)紙，眼睛直直地望著我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎？”

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